Breaking up over text is often frowned upon, but there are some instances where it’s a perfectly valid way to end a relationship. Plus, telling someone it’s over via text is way better than simply ghosting them (which, let’s face it, is pretty rude).
In an effort to fulfil a childhood dream of becoming ghost-busters, here are some top tips from those with experience of breaking up over text – both dumpees and dumpers – for how to break up with someone over text, including knowing when it’s OK to end a relationship via text, what the best breakup texts will include, and how not to be a jerk once it’s over.
When is it OK to break up in a text?
When it comes to breakups, it’s better if you can to do it face-to-face or over the phone, though this isn’t always possible or the best solution. Here are some instances when breaking up via text may be better:
1. If it’s a casual relationship
If you haven’t been on many dates, or you’ve just been out for a drink every now and again, breaking up over text can be ok. As Jack, 20, vividly remembers: “The first time I was dumped was via text after one date – I was 13 and they ended things because I didn’t put ‘love you’ at the end of my texts. I thought it was ridiculous as I was obviously not in love after one date, and they thought it was ridiculous that I didn’t love them after one date. They thought Star Wars was stupid, so it was never going to work anyway.” (Jack insists that he has since moved on and is in no way hung up on it. He swears.)
2. If you’re not going to see them for a while
If you’re stuck at home or you’re apart for a long time, then stringing them along until you next see them can be pretty cruel and a waste of everyone’s time.
3. If it’s too stressful
If the thought of breaking up with someone in person is stressing you out to the point where it’s all feeling like a bit too much, then breaking up via text is perfectly reasonable. This gives you time to collect your thoughts and plan what to say.
4. If you’re considering ghosting
Unless you’re a little old lady from the Victorian era or you’re a friendly guy named Casper, you shouldn’t be ghosting anyone. It’s rude, it makes you look bad, and a bit like life in quarantine, no one knows what’s going on. It literally takes like 5 minutes just to let them know you’re not dead, and that you just don’t want to go out with them anymore. Remember, breaking up via text is a delicate matter. Chances are, we’ve all been on the other end of a message like this, so when breaking up via text, put your empathetic slippers on and tread carefully.