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Lifestyle

How to ask for a second date

You’ve managed to ask your crush out and you’re absolutely buzzing – buzzing that you’ve even managed to get the words out of your mouth or sent a message.

And they’ve said yes! Nice one. Mission accomplished. 

But you’re still shaking and you’re not sure why. Oh yeah. The first date anxiety is already kicking in. And it’s cool if you’re a little nervous about meeting an online date or if you’ve got a full-on fear of dating – we’re gonna help you out.

don't wear white on a dinner date

Texting back the next week says you got deserted on an island on your way home from the first date

When to ask for a second date

Tbh, there’s nothing wrong with just going for it. Mind games are a waste of time for everyone involved, so if you want to see that person again, let them know.

But! Texting your date as you’ve literally got through the door maybe a little too keen bean. Give yourself time to digest the awesome events of the last few hours and wait until the following day. 

Don’t play too hard to get though. Texting back the next day says you’ve had time to think about wanting to see them again – texting back the next week says you got deserted on an island on your way home from the first date.

Keep it real when asking for a second date

When it comes to getting a second date, honesty is your best mate. If you had a good time – tell them! This goes both ways; did they seem to have a laugh? If the answer in your head is yes, include something in your message which reminds your date of a moment they seemed to enjoy, even if it was something that made you look less smooth than you wanted. Did you miss your bus stop because you were too into your pre-date playlist? Or maybe you leant in for a kiss, missed their lips and got their nose instead? Whatever happened – make it work in your text. 

What to do after a first date

If the stars align, and your date texts you back saying they’d like to meet up again… winner, winner maybe dinner?! Getting a second date is only half the job…. there’s that whole other bit of deciding what to do:

1. Mix it up! 

A second-date activity doesn’t need to be rocket science, but based on the first date, try to achieve a similar or slightly better vibe. The park is great, but not twice in a row.   

2. Stick to neutral ground! 

After a romantic meal for two at the golden arches, consider getting takeaway to enjoy in a more private setting, but stick to neutral ground (meeting the parents on the second date is a bit much) and make sure the location isn’t too private. You’re just getting to know one another, so use a safe space to allow trust and a connection to build between the two of you. Cheesy as a burger, but it works.

 

3. Show you listened 

If you’re really stuck for ideas for what to do after a first date, think back to what they mentioned they enjoy, to show that you were listening to what they were saying. Are they into tennis? Challenge them to a game, even if you’ve never held a racket in your life and your backhand belongs in a toddler tennis camp. It shows you engaged with their interests, you tried something new, and you weren’t afraid to look stupid. 

 

4. Use a common interest for a theme 

Outdoor cinemas always show classic films – so if your crush quoted a throwback on your date, you could see if it’s showing anywhere. Bonus points if you can learn the script before you see it for that quote-a-long vibe.

 

The second date is when the fun really begins. And don’t underestimate the prep routine (personal hygiene is always a winner).