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Guy* wondering how to have ‘the talk’ goes from ‘dating’ to ‘relationship’

*HINT: Guy = You.

Girlfriend or boyfriend, the ‘relationship talk’ can be overly hyped. There’s this weird traditional pressure that the alpha male is supposed to ‘officially’ ask out the other guy, or the girl, or whatever.

Now then.

2020 called to say it wants the ­relationship talk with the past decade: it’s ready to move forward.

Like all of us in a relationship, #amiright? 


How to have the talk: best-case scenario

The world of modern dating feels like the plot to a David Lynch film: you’re not entirely sure what’s going on, and truth be told, you’re nervous about it. The answer? Don’t over complicate it. Sometimes we miss the simpler times (AKA the 90s) where you had to dial up before sliding into DMs. As hard as it is, try simplifying the relationship talk and just be real about how you feel.

Best-case scenario is that the situation naturally presents itself between the two of you. When, for whatever reason, the timing feels just right, the stars align. 

And when that happens, you won’t have to plan when to have the talk, or even how to have the talk. It’ll just be a conversation between you and this person you’ve been seeing for a bit. Being prepared to tackle ‘the talk’ at any moment does require round the clock freshness. We got you.

The thing is, you sort of already know them; they sort of already know you. When you treat your pre-relationship talk person as exactly that –– a fellow human unsure about how to approach this as much as the next –– it’ll be easier to be honest with them (saving heartache and aggro in the long-term). Believe us.

 

How to have the talk: more likely scenario

 

It’s not like we’ve never heard ‘just talk to them’ before.

It’s the internet’s favourite response, even when it’s never as zen and straightforward as it’s made out to be.

It’s nervy as anything, we don’t always know how they feel about the situation, and rejection sucks.

It’s a mistake to think that we don’t experience the emotional merry-go-round of ‘are they into me or not?’ because we’re guys. If we care, we do.

Take the pressure out of the dating ‘exclusive’ talk:

·       Forget having to define the relationship talk altogether by ditching the labels.

·       Start with discussing the general direction of whatever it is you’ve got going on at the moment. Where do you both see yourselves going?

Open questions equal open talk. Dating is for the sweet torture of not knowing, relationships should offer a little more certainty.

When to have the talk

For the chosen few, the transition from dating to relationship is a chilled affair. Maybe you both decided to delete your dating apps at the same time, and that was that. We’re happy for you, really, we are.

For the rest of us, it’s a week’s worth of sleepless nights, trying to figure out when to have the talk –– when the joke of it is ––– the right time was probably when you first thought about asking them!

Don’t overthink this.

If you’re not hesitant, they’re bound to catch your committed vibes.   

Going from dating to a relationship with someone doesn’t need to be a big thing. Don’t be fooled by the hype. As with some of the best things in life –– food, anyone? –– go with your gut.