How to snap back after a breakup
You might think breakups suck – but they actually don’t. It’s the first step towards a newer, better relationship. And in the time between those relationships, your breakup gives you more time with the boys. And a chance to meet new people. But there might be moments where you’re not buzzing with a new-crush-rush. So, what can you do?
MOVING ON AFTER A BREAKUP
When a relationship ends, things might look a bit bleak – we know, we’ve been there. But it’s time to have a word with yourself and figure out how you’re going to start moving on after your breakup. Look to these relationship experts (random guys) we’ve gathered, and their advice on how to start dating again.
1. EMBRACE YOUR EMOTIONS
Breakups will hurt for a little while, so instead of fighting the current, it can be easier to just ride out the wave. Jake, 19, said “Learning it’s ok to be upset was one of the best bits of advice my parents gave me. One of my friends tried to brush off being upset about a breakup. I think he felt like he couldn’t be upset because it wasn’t a super-long-almost-married-100-year-long-relationship – and he bottled up his emotions – which I get, but I also get emotional when I finish a great sandwich, and that only lasts a few minutes. Or seconds, if I’m hungry. Sorry, what was the question again?”
Take some inspiration from Chandler in ‘that episode with the bath’ and embrace some ‘me time’ – bubble baths and scented candles aren’t just for girls. If you’re not 100% comfortable with this strategy, look for a scented candle that has the scent of something ultra-macho. Like wolves. Or explosions.
2. DON'T LOOK AT YOUR EX ON SOCIAL MEDIA
We hate to break it to you, but no one’s convinced you’re watching your ex’s Tik Tok because you like the song. “But it’s so catchy.” We see you.
While it may be tempting to have a quick scroll through their IG profile or check out their latest Snap, social media isn’t your friend when it comes to moving on. As Mike, 21, said, “the best thing I ever did was unfollow my ex on all social media – that way, I couldn’t even be tempted to check out her account. Plus, I deleted her number, so there was no embarrassing 2 AM “I miss you” text. Now I just send those texts to the homies.” So be like Mike, and smash that Unfollow button.
3. SPEAK TO YOUR FRIENDS
Your friends are there to support you in CoD just as much as they’re there to support you after a breakup. “When my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me, I didn’t want to tell my friends because I was embarrassed” Dan, 18, told us. “But when I did, they were so supportive. You don’t realise how much you unintentionally open up when you’re all playing online together, camped in a house and just chatting rubbish.”
While it may be tempting to have a quick scroll through their IG profile or check out their latest Snap, social media isn’t your friend when it comes to moving on
4. AVOID DATING RIGHT AFTER THE BREAKUP
They say if you want to get over someone, you’ve got to get under something. We know it might be shocking, but sometimes they are wrong. Dating immediately after breakups can be tempting, but it’s important to give it some time. Raheem, 20, said “I started dating after a breakup pretty quickly. I liked being in relationships, and I thought it would be a good way to get over my ex. It turned out to be a bad idea as I couldn’t commit to the new relationship because I was still thinking about the old one.” Take some time to process how you’re feeling – it’ll be better for everyone.
Plus, it’s pretty common knowledge that when it comes to dating after a breakup, rules dictate waiting a respectful amount of time so you’re not being a jerk to your ex. If you wouldn’t like seeing them moving on with someone else straight away, chances are they won’t like it either.
5. LEAN INTO YOUR HOBBIES
“Being single is so fun!” say all your friends trying to comfort you, who conveniently happen to be in relationships. Cue the eye-roll.
Honestly though? They’re not wrong. Dating or maintaining a relationship takes up a lot of time that can be spent on developing your hobbies and interests. It’s no coincidence why loads of bangers come out of hard times (see every Meek Mill song) or why every time The Weeknd’s breakup rumours hit the news, fans are setting up their Twitter notifications in the hopes for a new album. So, follow their example, and channel your emotions into your favourite activity, whether it’s music, rugby, or a three-hour Minecraft session.
HOW TO START DATING AGAIN
But let’s say you’ve had some ‘me time’, you’ve not been on your ex’s Tik Tok account in at least a month (or so you tell your friends) and you’ve decided you’re ready to start dating again after a breakup. The important thing to remember is to take it at your own pace – don’t feel pressured to dive right back in.
Moving on after a breakup is always going to be tough but hopefully, this advice will help. Write it down on your bedroom wall. Memorise it. Then when one of your mates goes through a break-up you can rattle off this advice and pass it off as your own genius and wisdom. You’re welcome!