How to shave your bum cheeks
Shaving your bum cheeks is probably easier than shaving the cheeks on your face. People are less likely to notice if you’ve missed a hair on your bum than they are if you miss one in the middle of your face. Although that depends entirely on who you hang out with. Anyway:
1. Grab a razor with a fresh head, a handheld mirror, a can of shaving foam and jump into a hot shower.
2. Make sure that that razor head is actually fresh and that you don’t mix it up with one you’re going to use on your face.
3. Start covering your butt in shaving foam until it looks like a cartoon ski slope.
4. Holding your mirror in one hand so you can see the full moon, and your razor in the other, start shaving in a downwards motion from the top of your bum towards where the backs of your thighs begin.
5. Rinse your razor head and repeat until you’re happy with your craftmanship.
But what about if you want to go the extra mile? What if you want to clear the path into the IBA?
How to shave your bum crack
There are many reasons to shave the IBA. But we’re not here for the why, we’re here for the how:
1. Grab your handheld mirror, a razor with a clean head, and a can of shaving foam and head to the bathroom.
2. Realllllllly double-check you’re using a fresh razor head because a dull one is more likely to cut you. And we cannot stress this enough: you do not want a cut down there.
3. Apply shaving foam to the IBA.
4. Squat over the mirror so you can see what you’re working with.
5. Gently shave the areas you can see need shaving. Just don’t go too deep into the IBA – one bad move and walking is about to get really uncomfortable for the next few weeks.
Now when you shave your face, hair grows back as stubble. And the IBA rubs when you’re walking so that stubble might get close to starting a fire. Another option is to wax but that can be difficult to do on your own. And that’s an interesting conversation. Maybe try the ‘I’ll do yours if you do mine’ angle? Or, you know, go to a salon or something.
At the end of the day, you might not even want to shave your bum. And that’s absolutely fine. No one can judge you for your butt hairstyle. And chances are, if you’re cool enough with them seeing your butt hair then they probably know you well enough not to give a hoot what’s going on down there.