Zero Waste Lifestyle: A Beginner's Guide for Men

HOW TO LIVE A ZERO-WASTE LIFE

 

So, here’s your chance to give it a try! Plot your own course and follow the steps to find out how to be zero-waste:

 

1. You’re stood in your kitchen with a couple of old batteries in your hand from a games controller that ran out of juice, just as you were about to get a dub. Do you:

 

A- Chuck them in your ‘man drawer’, next to your tape measure, two half-used rolls of sticky tape, and a key for… something? [Go to Q7]

B- Throw them in the non-recycling bin. You know they’re not recyclable and if you squash them down enough then nobody will know what you’ve done. [Go to Q4]

C- Check online and see that most shops and supermarkets that sell batteries will have responsible battery recycling bins that you can leave them in. [Go to Q2]

 

2. You’re at a festival and for once, it’s boiling hot. Do you:

A- Grab a plastic bottle of water from a nearby burger stand. [Go to Q3]

B- Whip out your reusable water bottle and go and find one of the free water stations dotted around the place. [Go to Q5]

C- Go one step further and share the next-door tent’s bowl of water… the one they’ve left out for the pooch. [Go to Q8]

 

3. *buzzer noise* Have another go!

 

4. You want to know how to go zero-waste? This ain’t it.

5. You’ve nailed step one on the road to learning how to be plastic free, but your powers are tested when you find yourself at Comic Con. As you’re making your way through the chaos, you politely decline several fliers and promotional pens that’ll end up in a landfill. You finally reach the merch stand. Do you:

A- Grab the shiny action figure in a flashy limited-edition box and plastic bag. It comes with a special plastic gunge gun to promote Galactic Battles 9: The Pre-Sequel! [Go to Q6]

B- Choose a limited-edition comic made out of recycled paper. [Go to Q10]

C- Scream at the top of your lungs that you’re Super-Zero-Wasteman before knocking all of the overly packaged goods to the floor and causing as much havoc as possible. [Go to Q9]

 

6. Many of us dream of taking home a limited-edition gunge gun, but the quest to learn how to be plastic-free quest is bigger than that. Take another go at it.

7. The man drawer ultimately ends up being all thrown in the bin every 8-10 years––and these batteries deserve a better afterlife. Try again.

8. There’s a difference between trying to learn how to reduce waste in your life and whatever you’re doing... Have a word with yourself and try again!

9. Someone calls security and you realise that saving the world might be harder than you first thought.

10. You’ve done it! You’ve nailed this lesson in how to live a zero-waste life! The planet is another step closer to happiness.

 

There are loads of other ways to try and live a zero-waste lifestyle. And to be honest, you’ll end up producing some sort of waste (that mixtape you made last summer doesn’t count), but even making a small change to your life can make a difference. Try to support sustainable companies and only buy what you need. Remember: think global, act local!